aminel: A question… ‘If someone indicates that they can do something that you do faster than you...

aminel:

A question… ‘If someone indicates that they can do something that you do faster than you do, simpler than the way you do it or gets quantifiable better results than you’re getting, what is the very first part of your default response?’

If your answer didn’t include ‘Curious’, are you sure your answer is serving you?

That is where I eventually get. Curiosity and an emphatic desire to learn is the best quality in a person. I am, inherently, a student.

However – the first.
I am a human and a perfectionist to boot. My first response, born from a lifetime of Do Betters and Not Enoughs and I Am Bads, is devastation that I hadn’t figured it out myself.

Because I have a generally low self opinion, this spirals down ward into the above self-effacement of anything previous considered good. Obviously, what I thought was good was only mediocre in light of new evidence.

The blinding light if new evidence has burned away and quality my previous product had.

However – the second.
I am a curious person and know that I am me and am not you and drag behind me a host of other experiences in my baggage. That I arrived where I am is a wonder and now I have an opportunity to learn more and be and do better.

Because I understand the above about myself, I eventually come out if the emotional reaction and see past this new evidence. There are days where it just takes longer.

Emotions are powerful and it is impossible to stop that initial reaction. It is trained into us for years, heathy or otherwise. They, though, inherently illogical and possible to get through.

When you do… Well then, that is how we get better at anything.

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A little writing porn for your Monday. While cleaning today, I...

A little writing porn for your Monday.

While cleaning today, I found alyska‘s type drawer in the basement. I noticed that the medium and large spaces are about perfect to hold my ink samples and decided to hang it up.

While at it I grabbed one of the old ceramic cocktail cups to use as a pen holder. The straw hole fits my dip pen, currently sporting a Spencerian tip.

And, if course, my USB typewriter is still there. I used it last night to start a journal entry on my iPad. The keys are getting stuck with the humidity. Need to clean it up.

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My evening after the gym. TWSBI. New pen. TWSBI 580 Diamond...

My evening after the gym. TWSBI.

New pen. TWSBI 580 Diamond inked with Organics Studio John Hancock. EF nib. It draws a slightly fatter line than the Pilot Metropolitan F nib but smaller than the M. It is *significantly* smoother across the page.

I like the weight overall. Posted, it’s kind of gargantuan but manageable. Wish the front was slightly heavier to place the center if gravity into the center of my hand.

Also. I heart white accessories.

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Why Is It So Hard for Us to Do Nothing? - WSJ

Why Is It So Hard for Us to Do Nothing? – WSJ:

The following comes from personal experience. When I turned 30 I started setting aside time to think more via journaling or walking and, in the last few months, started including meditation too.

I find this article fascinating in the face of all the thinking and meditation I’ve been doing since I turned 30. I want to get the original article because I hope it is more detailed than this.

I think there us a difference between rumination and obsessive thinking and much if that depends on the person. People with anxiety or depression spend their alone time with the latter which I would expect to make them less desirous of solution. Spending your time replaying the day’s events as could haves or should haves is a terrible way to spend your time.

Rumination or directed thinking is hard to do with anxiety or depression. You’re constantly re-evaluating what you’re thinking about and any conclusions you draw. Am I doing this right? Is that conclusion real? Am I deluding myself? Why am I bothering, I can’t even think right?

Inevitably, you spend your thinking time tearing apart yourself rather than allowing yourself to think what you think.

It is hard to ruminate when you barely tolerate yourself.

What I’ve seen since I started is that it takes months to get past the filter, to allow yourself to think about anything without self judgment, so you can piece things apart.

If you’d asked me if I wanted a shock or to spend 20 minutes alone in my room, I’d have taken the shock too.

Eventually, though, you get through it and start to understand yourself.

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